Dunkin’ Donuts and CPK

Dear America,

I have visited your country numerous times.  I even lived there for a year back in 2008.  On my visits to your east coast, I have been overwhelmed by the deliciousness of your gourmet coffee selections at Dunkin’ Donuts.  In particular, I enjoy Dunkin’s Hazelnut blend and even ask locals of your fine country to bring me a sachet or two of Hazelnut gold on their trips to my berg.  Absolutely one of my top reasons for coming across the border.

When visiting your western states, I get serious and go for food instead of beverage, in the form of California Pizza Kitchen.  It’s exactly the way mediocre pizza should taste.  I love it.  They even sell it frozen in your grocery stores.

I write this letter to politely ask you to consider sending some of your yummy treats Canada’s way.  You have already allowed us to infiltrate your coffee world.  Canada’s famous Tim Horton’s locations are popping up all over New York State and even in Times Square.  I love Timmy Ho’s, but a man ain’t runnin’ unless he’s runnin’ on Dunkin’.  As for CPK, I’ll even take some of that frozen mess you call pizza until you decide to start up some franchises over here.

Respectfully yours,


P.S. This letter was inspired by the tragic end to my last bag of Hazelnut Dunkin’ Donuts coffee.

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