Is there anything better than the aura and mystique that surrounds drinking and making plans to drink coffee?
This may sound sarcastic, but it ain’t. I freaking love coffee culture. Sure I realize it makes no sense to target coffee as the daytime social drink of champions; but, goddam does it make the world go round. I’d like to avoid talking about the actual merits of coffee – taste, nutritional value and its pep-inducing qualities. Rather, the focus of this post shall be about coffee acting as the catalyst for so many socially engaging moments.
“Hey, friend, what should we do this afternoon?” Boom… coffee. “Hey, friend, I know we’re going to the movies, but wouldn’t it be nice to meet a little early to chat?” Boom… coffee. “Hey, mom, instead of harassing me about my week, you wanna have a coffee and do crossword puzzles?” Boom… coffee. “Hey, guy doing my job interview, you wanna be hip and do the interview outside of the office?” Boom… coffee. And it goes on like this.
We have tackled the generic awesomeness of being able to meet someone for a coffee in a variety of scenarios. But, there is so much more. Let’s touch on the pretentious coffee-bustling chains like Starbucks and the like. Who ever said size doesn’t matter? At Starbucks, you can be scolded and banned for life for not recognizing their branding. While Cougar Town and Role Models poke fun at the great tall, grande, venti debate that is Starbucks, I take it very seriously. It’s far better to use these silly names than to do what some other places do with sizing when they offer you sizes in medium, large and extra large… are you fucking kidding me? The medium is the small, you son of a bitch!
Anywho… I respect what Starbucks has done. Like any other capitalistic avenue, Starbucks has managed to weed out the poor from the rich. By charging double the price for worse tasting coffee than your local Tim Horton’s or Dunkin’ Donuts, forcing the patron to cream and sugar his own brew and throwing together a few couches and lounge chairs, Starbucks has created the kind of snobbery people dream of. My god does it work. I know I sound indignant about this subject, but really I am just another sap, who follows suit with this coffee-based caste system. When I’m doing a loner, to go, coffee, I’ll hit up the Horton’s. But, if I want to do some work on the laptop or meet with someone socially, it’s gotta be at the Bucks or equivalent.
Mr. Will Hunting said it best when he commented on going out for caramels as being just as arbitrary as going for coffee. But, when’s the last time you shared secrets and had a laugh at your local convenience store over some Mars bars and Gatorade?